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! ! c r i n g e p o r t f o l i o ! !

hi, i’m naomi from the past and this is my super portfolio...

i want to be a writer and i write every day so i have a lot of stories, but i don't want to risk it being stolen so i'm just going to tell you my technique...

-a moment is not dramatic unless someone runs away crying, it doesn't matter if they don't like to show emotions or make a scene, they must run away crying
-bad people is bad, they have no backstory, they're just bad
-the protagonist must cry at least five times per chapter
-someone dies, always, it doesn't matter if they die by stuff that usually just gives you stomach ache
-babies can totally narrate the story and of course they know more abut life than every other character
-all dialogues are based on songs and everyone knows the song, always
-school and work can be cancelled for weeks without repercusions and every character can go on an expensive vacation during that time, no worries
-stalkers are good people if they are in love with the protagonist
-you can totally contradict what you stated as a fact earlier, the reader surely doesn't remember and neither do you anyway
-always finish your writing with an ellipsis...

by the way, this is the cover i made for my novel, it will be a hit:

a cover with a bright purple background and badly cut images

i can also draw, these are my original characters, miriam (11), elisa (13) and paty (3), i spent 2 hours working in each but i think they came out pretty cool

girl with black hair girl with brown hair baby with bron hair

thank you for reading, hire me, bye

From present me:

If you are reading this, then you clicked the link I told you not to click, I hope you’re happy now.
The silverlining is that I learned and, to the date, I keep learning, so hopefully my best works of today will make me cringe tomorrow!
Click here to pretend this doesn't exist.